Well universe I’m loosing faith in my ability to have positive interpersonal interactions. I have all this energy, a bull in a China shop, so to speak, that people really don’t know how to deal with me.
I mean well, I really do. Why is that not translating? I go out of my way to be nice, say hello, please and thank you, you know manners.
Well apparently thats not being taken into account. This is nothing new to me. As a child I was teased and not well liked. I could never figure out why wouldn’t people listen to me? Well upon further contemplation, I was a bossy cow kid.
I was under the impression that I knew best and everyone should listen to me. A natural born leader at 8 yes old. Turns out no one gave a shit. Hmmmm…. So I was forced to play with the unpopular kid, you know the one with the big glasses and smelled funny. Yeah she was my new BFF. I was less than thrilled.
But from her I learned kindness, she was the only one who would play with me, so I ate some humble pie and played along. Soon we really did become BFF and all was well in the world.
Let’s flash forward to high school – loser. My dreams and aspirations of being popular were long gone as I shuffled through the hallways trying to figure out who I was.
I hung around an eclectic group of misfits: band kids, drama kids, computer hackers and general smart asses like myself. Problem number one, I had a mouth.
In 8th grade I was enraged that our Physics teacher had being doing lbs. to kilo conversions wrong, I kept arguing that he was wrong, but he didn’t believe me. Did I shut up? Hell no. I kept persisting. I almost got thrown out of class, but then he realized he was indeed wrong and said a half hearted sorry. Did I stop? Oooh hell no. By the time I was done persuading I had him formally apologize to the class and me and write on a piece a paper with a signature that he didn’t know what he was talking about. What drives me to do these things? How do I even accomplish these things?
As I look back at some of the shit I pulled off I am both appalled and impressed by my actions. In 5th grade I had a fully militarized 2nd grade class that followed me every where and did what I told them to. WTF? Am I a cult leader waiting to happen? I don’t think so.
I think most of my shenanigans come from being very smart and very bored. Half the time I say stupid shit just to see how people will react. Recently I’ve tried to channel some of my bravado to business aspirations. I’m trying to sell myself as a marketing and social media consultant. Which is not bullshit. I actually do know what I’m talking about. So far I’ve had great response to my business aspirations.
When it has to do with business and networking I am golden. I can schmooze with the best of them. But when it comes down to interpersonal work relationships, I am shit.
I come across totally different than I mean it. I’m not sure exactly how I come off, but recently someone told me ‘I think I’m some hot shot rockstar that likes to hangout with record executives and party too much and not show up to work’.
This is not good PR. If I was Paris Hilton I’d be hitting my demo, but I’m not. I take my work very seriously and I want up be the best. I want to be excellent. I know I’m smart enough to do it, but I really need to bump up those interpersonal skills to get there.
That’s why I’m here. Good ole Barnes n Noble. To find a book to help me out. Where’s the how to communicate with Radio personalities 101 for dummies? Some suggested that I look up 1-minute manager, so I’ll give that a quick read. Hmmmmm…. Any suggestions?
I got a whole lot of potential energy, I just need to find the right turbine to make it into electricity.
I’m off to peruse! Thanks for reading,
~ Layla
